Father’s Day in the Collaborative Divorce Process

Last week was Father’s Day where we celebrate our fathers who are highly influential in our lives. Research and studies show that children raised in homes without fathers are not apt to seek paternal influence elsewhere such as gangs, and the like. A high percentage of inmates in prisons grew up in fatherless households.

Therefore, when marriages fail, it is important that the parents, although living in two separate households, continue their ongoing, continuing and frequent contact with their children. Even with the breakdown of their marital relationship, parents must continue to work together to raise their children. The children need to know that even though their parents have divorced, live in separate households and take on new partner’s, their parents still love them as much as when they were together. If they are confident in their relationship with both parents, they are more apt to survive the trauma of a divorce.

A divorce is essentially a restructuring of the relationships between husband and wife and a restructuring of their assets, debts and finances. It is not a relinquishment of their parental responsibilities to the children who they were responsible for bringing into the world and who had nothing to do with the breakup of the marital relationship.

Collaborative divorce strives to provide two divorcing couples a real alternative to the stressors of divorce so they can maintain a business relationship with each other which enables them to raise their children together. This does not stop when the children reach the age of majority. The children will eventually get married themselves and have children. It is so much easier for the children to feel confident that their parents will put aside their personal issues and reasons for the breakup of the marriage to concentrate on doing what is best for the children they brought into the world. The collaborative divorce process assists in accomplishing this goal.

Article by John Gilligan